(posted at frendster july 23, 2009)
A friend wants to borrow my notes in some subjects that he is taking in graduate school which I took a long time ago. As i was looking on each and every old folders, my brain created this very very thick and tallest wall so that old memories will not come crushing into my brain. It secreted a hormone for my heart not to feel sad, and lonely. Still, there it was. Just as real as it was two or three years ago.
We enrolled in graduate school, together we accomplished the requirements, paid our fees, took the entrance exam, had the same subjects, with the hope the we will finish it together. We entered the classrooms, sat side by side in every subjects, and walked along Valencia St. up to the terminal. I will always be the one to keep the copies of our classmates' reports and bring it on the next session. Till our classmates, along with our professors team us up for group reports, case study analysis, projects and other activities. I would patiently call him in his office (only to be put on hold for 15 mins, and have to talk really quick, and the phone hang up) to ask him about our case study, in particular the Campbell Company Case Analysis, wherein I would read through the whole 20+ pages, make a swot analysis, find the problem, and draw a solution/conclusion. Then I will report it to the class, satisfying our professor, we both earned the credit. How funny!
Like the hope to finish our graduate school fades away, our relationship is also slipping away. He eventually became very busy in his work when he had his motorcycle. Me, on the other hand, fell in love with someone else. And we are falling apart.
Now that it's almost one year since we decided to part ways, I still have two copies of some of the reports we had during graduate school days. For sure my mother will be very glad if I will put one copy away together with old papers and newspaper to be used in starting to build a fire (for charcoal, for cooking).
Though, I dont have some one to be with me to attend and complete my masters degree, I still have plans to finish it. With the grace of God, just as He nows the desires of my heart in taking away the things I dont need in life, He will feel me with His love and abundance.
By the way, He is the One I fell in love with! God!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Suicide
Early this afternoon, as i was looking through facebook, i realized na parang walang tao, i mean, konti lang ang mga frends, wala masyadong kulitan. Then i decided to visit my friendster account.
As i was running through the home page, i noticed a familiar name. For the longest time, he doesnt have any activities going on with his account. Then there it was, he added a frend thus his name appreared on my frends activities.
The next thing i did was to click on the who viewed me button, and there again, i saw that he also viewed my account. Then i decided, without thinking twice, what the heck i might as well look at his account....
My heart was pumping in an unusual why, as if i am on a ledge thinking of jumping off... suicide! When his account opened up, the first thing i noticed was his featured frends. There were four of them, all ladies, 3 of his sisters and his girlfrend. I suddenly felt angry... he never ever put my profile on his featured frends....
Running through his account, i saw his testimonies... there it was, as big as the billboards in Edsa... confirmed, all the truth spilled out.... I jump off the ledge! Suicide...
But wait.... This time someone was there to catch me. My Savior! And He was not alone, he brought with Him his angels... Ate Sani, Mai2, Jajah, Kate, Kuya Dong, Kuya Pico.
For some of them, they might not understood what I really felt, yet they where there to remind me that i am ok, safe already. And for some, who understood, they didnt catch me. They let me experience the pain of accepting the truth, help me absorb reality and then pick me up, dust off the dirt on my face, and embraced me. These are the faces of my Savior!
Mai2 said that i should not deny to him the things he earned, the people that became his frends through the relationship. I should be happy for him.
What a humbling experience! That even in pain, i am called to be a good Christian. I said that i am learning to be happy for him, together with learning to forgive & forget & accept.
And now, i am closing the day with so much adventure! After dinning out at Kinabuchs, I insisted on driving the motorcycle going home. And I did a good job, driving from Semenario up to the gate of my home. A minute later, two frends arrived. We talked and laughed at stuff. And to top it all, i recieved a call from someone, a text from another, and a good night sleep later.
Ah! This is still a very good day for me.
As i was running through the home page, i noticed a familiar name. For the longest time, he doesnt have any activities going on with his account. Then there it was, he added a frend thus his name appreared on my frends activities.
The next thing i did was to click on the who viewed me button, and there again, i saw that he also viewed my account. Then i decided, without thinking twice, what the heck i might as well look at his account....
My heart was pumping in an unusual why, as if i am on a ledge thinking of jumping off... suicide! When his account opened up, the first thing i noticed was his featured frends. There were four of them, all ladies, 3 of his sisters and his girlfrend. I suddenly felt angry... he never ever put my profile on his featured frends....
Running through his account, i saw his testimonies... there it was, as big as the billboards in Edsa... confirmed, all the truth spilled out.... I jump off the ledge! Suicide...
But wait.... This time someone was there to catch me. My Savior! And He was not alone, he brought with Him his angels... Ate Sani, Mai2, Jajah, Kate, Kuya Dong, Kuya Pico.
For some of them, they might not understood what I really felt, yet they where there to remind me that i am ok, safe already. And for some, who understood, they didnt catch me. They let me experience the pain of accepting the truth, help me absorb reality and then pick me up, dust off the dirt on my face, and embraced me. These are the faces of my Savior!
Mai2 said that i should not deny to him the things he earned, the people that became his frends through the relationship. I should be happy for him.
What a humbling experience! That even in pain, i am called to be a good Christian. I said that i am learning to be happy for him, together with learning to forgive & forget & accept.
And now, i am closing the day with so much adventure! After dinning out at Kinabuchs, I insisted on driving the motorcycle going home. And I did a good job, driving from Semenario up to the gate of my home. A minute later, two frends arrived. We talked and laughed at stuff. And to top it all, i recieved a call from someone, a text from another, and a good night sleep later.
Ah! This is still a very good day for me.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Ang Pangungulit ni Mica
Ang makulit kong kapatid na gustong maginternet pero hindi makainternet dahil nandito pa ako... hehehe... pinapalayas na ako, magbihis n dw kasi me pupuntahan pa..
Si Mica, hindi pa nagpupunas.... pag-uwi nila tatay at mamang galing sa meeting hindi pa sya nakapunas...
Aw.. tapos na dw sya magpunas... hahaha
Si Mica, hindi pa nagpupunas.... pag-uwi nila tatay at mamang galing sa meeting hindi pa sya nakapunas...
Aw.. tapos na dw sya magpunas... hahaha
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