i agreed to go to this suitor of mine, one night, to the beach to meet his friends who are having a get together. before going there i hesitated because i am very lousy at meeting people, the situation makes me very uncomfortable. and so we took a long walk from the church to his house and we are having a good chat. nothing very unusual that something will happen later that night.
we reached the beach, had dinner, then we started drinking. i am very relaxed and composed that night, got a little tipsy, but not drunk! nothing can be seen except for those areas with lights on, but everything was engulfed by darkness.
but i had to go to the comfort room.... i asked him to go with me (for i could not dare ask his friends to accompany me). we are arguing on something when he started kissing me. bullshit! this was not the moment that ive been waiting for! somethings wrong! no! i have to stop him! but then it got a little farther than what i thought i could control! he became harsh, it got to the point where i could not push him away, he was over powering me.
that night, the two emotions i expected to feel wasnt there! i thought i will feel either liking it or i will feel fearful! i am dead NUMB! i could not feel anything! then i realized.... all i had were choices. CHOICES! either i will agree to what his doing with me or tell to his face that he cant have me!
he already made his choice, and he could not control it anymore. pero AKO, ako i still have 2 choices! then i started pushing him away from me, but he just kept on what he's doing, now in a more forceful way! i have to really push him hard, AWAY! and when he finally did, i was still numbed. i thought of his friends, and what they might be thinking that time, i thought about what if he's too angry that he will tell everyone about what had happened! and so i decided that i will never go out with him, never trust him, never say or speak a word with him.... NEVER!
