Friday, July 27, 2012

loosing purpose?

I'm loosing my purpose! For almost six years my sole purpose is to find the most pleasing to God, the Almighty. I have offered the most painful sacrifices, turned around to those that I deeply love, left ambitions that I greatly desired! But now I am left wandering, am I loosing my purpose?

I have gazed in the eyes of people with purpose and I envy them!
I have looked in those that have held the one thing that they wanted the most, I envy them!
I have heard of stories about someone whose lives have been elevated, I envy them!
I envy the hearts of those who do not grow tired of pursuing what they want from this life. They have become a wife, a mother, a missionary, a musician. Others held high position, a doctor, a businessman.

To what extent do I measure? I am neither a good daughter to my Father in heaven nor a person worthy of what is given to me.

Amidst this troubled mind, hope and faith that have been planted in my heart manages to spring out. Thoughts of a good and peaceful life, fruits that bear because of what this trouble has brought gives me the urge to press on, never to stop, but just to pause and reflect. I pray that this shall pass and that I will return to what I have been called, to be pleasing to my Father's eyes.