i kissed someone last night

i kissed someone last night and it was not my boyfriend!

we saw each other from a common friend's house yesterday. we were having a good time reminiscing past memories and updating each other on what's new. they were drinking, i was not... at first! but to keep things rolling, i started drinking also. i only had a few drinks when they call it a night. my closest friend was already in a mess so he wasn't able to bring me home, i have no other choice but to let this other guy bring me home.

while on the road he was very persistent to get even with what i told everybody, that he was slow! he wants to prove that he's not that slow in making a score on me. i didn't let him bring me to some place!

and so we talked about what had happened between us. for the first time he was very open telling me what he feels about me. he said the "L" word many times. he also missed me! in my mind i know that its too late for that. i've been waiting for him to tell me that but it didn't come, and so i know that nothing will ever change my mind into knowing that its too late.

before we part ways, he said that he love me again and as is he was waiting for me to answer him back. when he didnt hear anything from me he asked if he could kiss me goodbye! i said no, and he insisted. and for a moment i thought, what the heck, its just a kiss on a cheek. but his kiss landed on my lips! and im kissing back! OMG, No!

the kiss! the kiss was very soft, not provoking! his hands clasp my face, mine was holding him too! it was so soft that i think i want more! my heart was beating slow and smooth as if i am so comfortable kissing this person. and i miss that kind of kiss, so much that i could not forget about it. till we said our goodbyes and good nights the kiss was the last thing on my mind.

then i woke up in the middle of the night, realizing that... it was just a dream!

paranoid

i have this very weird feeling that someone is stabbing my back! i am imagining this person to be saying her feelings to other persons making me look bad! i just hope that my instinct is wrong!