just a reflection

for the past three months, a dear friend of mine was in a roller coaster ride, and she is still until now.

she broke up with her boyfriend for a lame reason and until now they are still running around circles, chasing each other, deciding on nothing! a very sad fact!

to keep it more complicated, theyve tagged along a lot of people in their crazy situation.

i, in particular, has been putting my heart on her situation. along with our other close friends, we felt her pain, thus, giving her advices!

i never thought that it would come to this point where i dont want to be involve anymore because its making me crazy! one day, she's crying her heart out, saying things against the guy. the next day, she's already ok again because they are talking and seeing each other again!

i have been reflecting on her situation and mine. and this is what i end up thinking.
that, we dont have any right to put pain and anger in this body because this is not ours. this body is the temple of the holy spirit and we should not dwell on pain. if we have an opportunity to get out of pain, pray for the grace of God to help us because we are ruining our spirit, which is the spirit of the Lord living in us.

that, we put our destiny in the hands of God. we ask Him in prayer to lead us and help us decide on things that mattered to us. and as we keep on praying, wait because God has better solutions than what we hand on our hands.

that, God is the only One who can comfort us. no other man has the right to treat us with cruelty, and would cause so much pain. and if someone did caused us pain, it is only God that can take it away.

that, there are no living martyrs in this world. only a wife, a mother, can give her life to the family that she has. (but this one will stir up controversey..)

there may be lots of things that i do not understand. i do believe that time will make me understand the situation. once, long time ago, i stood up with all the beliefs that i have written above. it helped me through the pain. and it made me understand that there are more to life that what we think of. there is a bigger plan, a better future that only God knows. and i desired for that.

so to make me a good friend, i also realized that silence is sometimes the best advice i can give. no words, just understanding (though i am still in doubt), and prayers.

Kate: anong feeling?

Babang: eto laging nakangiti!

February 18, 2010!
Bago pa man nagsimula ang raw na ito, maraming beses na akong nagpabalik-balik sa adoration chapel para magdasal. Magdasal para sa aking pamilya, sa SFC, sa trabaho at higit sa lahat para sa isang malaking desisyong aking gagawin. Sampung araw ang bago ang araw na ito, sinabi ko sa Dyos na manghihingi ako ng sinyales na pwede na. Marami akong hininging sinyales sa Dyos. Una, na ay kung yayayain nya akong magsimba, ibig sabihin lang non na kaya nyang talikuran ang mga kinahihiligan nyang gawa, hindi para sa akin kundi para sa sarili nya. Pangalawa, kung aabutin sya dito sa Puerto ng hanggang Feb 20.

At dumating nga siya! At habang nandito sya umiigting ng umiigting ung pakiramdam na bakit hindi ko nga ba subukan. Nagtanong ako sa mga taong malapit sa akin at kilala rin naman sya. Sabi ng isang ate, why not take the plunge? Sabi naman nong isang, naku bang seryoso talaga yn sya, subukan mo. At ang huling taong tinanong ko ay ung taong alam kong hindi sya gusto dahil alam nya ang mga gawain nito. So iniexpect ko na negative ang sasabihin nya. Pero iba! Sabi nya, "baket hindi mo itry? Panghawakan mo at pagkatiwalan sya na hindi ka lolokohin dahil mabait din naman syang tao." Hay, kung sinabi nyang hind, maaaring iba ang desisyong ginawa ko.

At eto na nga! Gabi ng Feb 18, kinausap ko sya kung seryoso sya at kung gusto nya nga talaga akong maging kasintahan. Sabi nya, oo! So sabi ko e di, cge, ok, oo na! Hahaha!

Nawala lahat ng pag-aalinlangan! Kinabukasan pagsundo nya sakin mula sa opisina, sabi nya saglit lang me puntahan lang dw kami, dinala nya ako sa simbahan at nagsimba kami. At hanggang ngaun nandito pa sya (anong petsa na ito! ika-23 na ng perero!)

Masaya ako lalo pa't gusto nyang sa bahay kami kakain ng hapunan at manonood ng TV. Masaya ako dahil noong sabihin ko sa aking pamilya, natuwa sila para sakin. Masaya ako dahil ang mga malalapit at sobrang mahal kong mga kaibigan, masaya din para sa akin. Masaya ako kapag nginingitian nila ako na para bang binibiro. Kulang na lang nga sabihing, uyyy! Masaya ako kasi nakikita kong masaya din sya!

Mahabang paglalakbay pa ang dapat suongin para sa isa pang desisyon. Masyado pang maaga para sabihing ok na ang lahat. Sa ngaun, masaya lang muna. At sinasamahan ko din ng maraming dasal. Ung masmataimtim na dasal, para sa kanya, sa kanyang pamilya, sa amin. Sana biyayaan kami ng Poon.

kaya't aking hihiramin ang dialogue ng aking amigang si ate janis...

"Welcome to my life, Albert John Paul Q. Abiog!"

always wondering... :(

i, most of the time, wonder why i am in this place, in this time, in this situation. Wondering why i have a job like this, finish that degree instead of something else. dont i deserve to be someone else? or do i deserve what i have right now?

For most of my down moments, i would always complain about the little things i have in my hands. i would always question myself, why am i satisfied with this when i can have more?

i am too afraid of the big things that is suppose to be for me that's why it is not given to me. i am not a good steward of the talents or opportunities given to me that's why it is being taken away? i often times know or guess if a good thing is coming my way. but when it is getting nearer, i get so terrified that i shhoo it away! whats the matter with me?

im so confused!